It’s been a month

Dear Diary,

Yep… I saw him. I didn’t mean to; at least not in the way I envisioned. I was totally fine with the idea of driving past him walking into his restaurant, being a voyeur. Of course life doesn’t work out that way. Life decides to smack them right into you. Or in my case, have him pay the remainder of your bill when you’ve decided to purchase a latte and not one but two desserts! He was such a gentleman and I was instantly intoxicated off of his energy. Just like I used to be. He had no idea who I was, I mean how could he? He’s not going through this weird time warp like I am! Did he feel my energy, or was it just passing by him? Did he feel his heart dip like mine did? When did I start taking him for granted? When did I stop seeing how unbelievable he is? I used to get lost in his eyes but now I find myself just lost in general. This moment though made me remember. The want, the need to see him again. The electricity that comes from smelling his scent. Oh diary, I am a complete and utter mess. Maybe you’ll help me find myself again, you know me so well. I need to figure out why this is happening. Is the point of it all to see what it is I so carelessly threw to the side? There’s a part of me that also sees this isn’t just about Ryan. I threw myself to the side as well. Am I a stranger to myself? Hmm….that’s something to think about. I’m a stranger to my husband and more importantly, I’m a stranger to me. Alright.. I vow to discover who Elle is. Wish me luck Diary!

Love ya,

Elle